after the rain....:)i was standing in my garden,barefoot,feeling the sun on my face.......and reflecting on how c came into my life.Suddenly it was cloudy and it rained cats and dogs.i .......just stood dr , let d rain flow ovr me, through me.................................................................And then it was all ovr....i felt the warm sunlight again on my face.The only difference was that my clothes were heavy....wet ; and my bare feet had mud clinging on to it........just like those sweet memories of her...........clinging on to my heavy heart........
AnthemStand, girl, standFight, girl, fightThis is the debt you're payingThe debt you'll never repaySo press your palm against the wound, girlThere's blood seeping between your fingersAnd promise him life, girlAlways promise lifeEven when his eyes are glassyAnd you know he's not seeing youEven when you're a thousand miles away, too.Aren't you?Does your shoulder ache, girl?And can you smell amber in the dust?You can't stop, girlYou can't let yourself stop.NoNever stop.Oh, you'd better stand, girlStand.You'd better fight, girlFight.Because this is the debt you're payingThis is the debt you'll never repay.
portrait of rosaliemy grandmother devoursphoto albumslike Tolstoy novels,mémoire aprés mémoire aprésmémoire.she tells me the same storyabout her first jobwithout a carfive times over,looking awayto anotherworld,black & white to me,but full-color to her.alzheimer's is a language.like french, it isjust another part of her.she does not rememberconversations from a week agoor to turn over laundry,but she remembersbus rides in the south, pre-1964,white weddings ingrey cathedralsthat are shopping malls now.i have learned to translateher repetition,the ways she can tellthe same memoryagain and againlike it is the first time.for this, too,is language:the new inflections in her voice,new details,the tears that frequenther glassy eyeslike uninvited guestsshe lets in anywaymy grandmother'salzheimer'sis a neologist,changes the waywe communicatenow.trauma is passedthrough generationslike hand-me-down clothes.c'est héréditaire.my grand
here's tohere's to the young loverswho try to prove to those who saythat you won't last past a couple monthsthat you can combat cruel wordsand show you meant it when you said'i love you' to that special someonehere's to the parentswho love and support their childrenno matter who they loveor what they believealways ready to do what they canfor those who matter most to them
My heart is rainingHatred consumes meBut I only hate myselfWhat a wasteSuch a shameI am nothingNot worth a nameHurt youAnd him and herAnd all of themHurt myselfBut that's okIt's not like I give a damnI deserved this painMy life in vainAfter all, it's just a gameBut my heartBuried deepIs still aliveBeating, breathing, livingHurting, crying, grievingNot for meBut for those I hurtThose I made cryTo those I liedSo many times...My heart bleeds for themSeeks forgivenessIn the stillnessFor me ...But it's okAgainI deserve this painBut my heart is rainingLoudly into the nightIt prays to be heardPrays to be unfoldTo be freePrays to be lovedMy heart is rainingAsking for the saviorBegging for the lightIn the hands of the nightTrapped in my hatredMy heart needs savingIt hurts how fast it beatsLocked inside of meIt just needs to be free...My heart is rainingPlease, save it for me...
MamaMama forgive me,I won't be coming home tonight,It rained mortar shells while I was outside.Tell papa I love him, and I'm sorry I haven't called in a while. I wanted to come back with a surprise, That college degree I've been working for, I got it mama, I wanted you proud. But I think I'll come home wrapped in a flag. I'm sorry mama,I couldn’t run fast enough, It happened in a blink, I swear I couldn't react. There was a whistle andsomething flung me off the ground.I could hear screams around And I tasted blood in my mouth. It really hurt mama, I know I cried for you, But no one answered, Only more screamed bellowed I'm scared, mama. I want to hear your voice But it's getting cold and Another whistle is aboutTo hit home. I'm sorry mama, I think I lost my voice.I can see your nameBlinking on the crac
Suicidal RevengeI touched the voidwith blood dipped fingertipsand kissed the skywith poison spiked lipsI said my goodbyeswith a razor blade tongueand slashed out wordsbleeding needs unsungI saw the worldwith eyes of redand gasped my last breathin the land of the deadI thought of youwith disease soaked memoriesand autopsied my mindwith self inflicted atrocities
I finally found the truthwith or without youthis death was destinysomething I was meant to do
October 19thOctober 19thI arrived at home a pure soulbut I retreat a mosaic of soles.Yes, I have been stepped on,I have been led and brought on, spat on,had the rod on, been beat and been broke.At least you like my lyric.At least your bootmarks no longer acheand glow hurt-red. Marks, my wordswhen they pelt the ground, raindropsfalling but not on my head;they cool my wounds. Even natureis sympathetic. It gives you a sun todayand an excuse to burst from your dungeon.I say take that chance. There is a wantfor freedom there. Boot-march is a twistedsoundtrack there and it has gotten old;the bright thoughts of bright leavesand the dear faces of the strollered childrenall wide-open and enamored with everything,are writing you a new set of lyrics.
old wives' taleopposites do not attract.me, with my soft bodydoes not want your hardhands, fists around mythroat.bathtub sunk, i stayat the bottom andwatch peach bubbles popon my skin. your needle-nails puncture thefruit of me. suck thejuice from me. water-logged, i hop on myleft foot. tiltto shake you from me.you are vicious andsharp. the Anger. i am candyfloss, gummy teeth. the Sadness.you lick your fingersclean of medrop my clotheson the pantry floor.
carbonyou harbour unrealitylike a stone in your mind;it spreads its rusty wingsin grim rapture.perfection?you smell of satinand charred wine.you are as perfect as prose,that ashy devicethat stutters and clickswith its sentences.no:your words are unnimblerstill.but I love you just the same:don't you see?